Feed the Taco

I’ve been beta testing my new hug machine. Sometimes people need hugs and I was like, how do we send them hugs without enslaving 1000’s of Chinese children to do our hug bidding? Simple, advanced robotics! The machine works through a series of variables upon viewing a target to determine if they need a hug. Based on cleanliness, posture, isolation, and other indications that may say how lonely they are. I’ve been noticing more people hiding from the world with cell phones and i-pods. This is a growing concern of mine and hopefully the Hug-o-tron can bring those poor souls back into the world they hate so much. I’ve even added a nice quota feature, if the machine hasn’t given so many hugs in a day, it’ll begin randomly assigning targets hugs. I bet this will be a nice addition, since the Hug-o-tron should make everyone happier and reduce the need for hugs. If the hug demand suddenly drops because everyone is happy, they may stop being happy if the Hug-o-tron stops giving hugs and the problem would start over again. And that would make me and everyone else sad.

Let’s just hope I don’t have a repeat of the Kitten-Cannon 400. Sometimes it’s worth the wait of delivering a kitten by foot and not firing it from a cannon at someone who needs cheering up.